Constructivism

For those of you who don't know, I'm getting my Associates this semester which might be one of the proudest moments of my life since I've been screwing around for the past 6 years. I was intending to get my Associates in Broadcasting specifically, but after talking to my counselor, I found that I could graduate this semester with General Studies. If I had continued with the Communicate Degree, it would have taken me two more semesters and it wouldn't transfer anymore of my Communication classes up to the U. To make a long story short, I figured that I would take a break from Communication classes this semester.
I had to take a Humanities class this semester so I wanted to take Art History. After finding out that the books for the class would total $500.00. I withdrew and signed up for Elements of Human Communication thinking it would be an easy class. I was right in the fact that it would be easy, but my teacher is interesting to say the least.
My teacher is very calm, very loving, very open, very Friearian, he beleives that rules are made out of the fear that no one is going to follow. I am someone who loves rules. I love boundries and making boundries and beleive that people need boundries in order to survive the human race.
Since my teacher is so loving, he assigned us group projects to present different Communication theories. My first group presented today on the subject of Constructivism.
Constructivism is basically the idea that some people, based on their experiences in their life, are able to identify character traits in people and to be able to tailor messages to people based on how they are able to read them.
I know that I exemplify this theory. I know that I am a cognitively complex person. I manipulate people based on the fact that I know how to read them and to tailor messages the best way to get the results that I want.
Anyway, based on this theory, I realized that my teacher and I were opposites based on the way that we were raised. I was raised with the experiences that have taught me that manipulating people and creating rules are the only way to get the results that you want. My teacher has had experiences that taught him that sometimes rules aren't the best way. I still think he is wrong, but I respect that he has so much faith in people.
I miss the days when I could not be suspicious of everyone who talks to me. I used to be surprised when I would find out if a guy has a crush on me, but now I can pinpoint exactly what behaviors a man exhibits when he is into me. I used to trust all girls that I would be friends with, but now I wait for them to start talking about me behind my back or to betray me.
Experiences have taught me to be suspicious and jaded. I don't let people have the chance to get close to me anymore. I pretend to open up about things that are important to me, when in reality, I find them superficial.
I construct the relationships in my life to be how I want them to be.
Maybe it's time for me to stop being so angry and jaded with the world and how I feel about people. I wish I knew how to be who I once was, but like it says in the Constructivist Theory, you can never go back and trade your views.